The Tinsel Trail
Tinsel Trees
This is a story told by one of our visitors about her experience here at The Mandala Center in 2005. When I read this story I loved it because I believe it represents a way we are often guided and healed in our lives – gently, subtly, and symbolically. Very seldom does “wisdom” just descend upon us on one great swoop. In addition, we can miss the small whispers of wisdom when they do come if we are not paying attention. We can plant seeds along the way and remain mindful of the unfolding process of our lives. This seemed like the perfect story to share for this season – a celebration of light and hope. Dear Mary, Thanks for paying attention.
I felt lost, without direction. I was at a crossroads in my life when I found The Mandala Center. I arranged for an individual three day retreat, hoping the time alone would result in a blaze of wisdom, a big solid answer, a definite arrow pointing in the new direction. Unfortunately, when I drove away after three days I still was feeling lost. The only unusual bit of “LIGHT” had come from the sparkle of a strand of tinsel hanging from a juniper tree. I did not recognize the lesson and wisdom that tiny light held at the time – but now I do.
My first morning at The Mandala Center, as I walked along the gravel road, I noticed a pathway of sorts off to the left. There was no sign inviting or forbidding me to follow it. I decided to follow it. I soon noticed a few strands of tinsel sparkling in the breeze from one of the junipers. As I approached to investigate, I noticed more tinsel on another juniper further ahead. And then even more. A Tinsel Trail? This was interesting. Had children been playing here? I decided to follow this trail.
It finally led me to a white cross, about three feet high, planted in the ground at the top of a drop. Down below was a semicircle of wooden benches in this seemingly open and untamed land. My curiosity peaked. I decided to go down to these benches. As the descent was too steep at this spot, I circled around and found a “path” down to this outdoor chapel area. This unexpected discovery totally amazed me. I remained for a while absorbing the details.
Later I learned that Jake and Dolores Lujan, the original homesteaders of the ranch on which the center sits, had built the shrine in honor of Jake’s dad, Lorenzo Lujan. Every year on the feast day of St. Lawrence, the family would gather and a priest would say mass and give communion. The director at The Mandala Center told me they had tried to resume this tradition, inviting the community back for the occasion. She said, “They marked a path to the altar with the tinsel a few years ago as people were getting lost.” All I thought at the time was how interesting this all was, and I wrote it in my journal.
TWO YEARS LATER, in response to the newsletter asking how The Mandala Center may have impacted its visitors, I decided to sift through my journal entries to see if there was anything I could contribute. These words jumped off the page at me: THE TINSEL MARKED THE WAY AS SOME PEOPLE WERE GETTING LOST.
LOST – that word described me at the time of my retreat. That strand of tinsel held a great lesson for me about being lost and finding my way. Its sparkle was tiny. I could easily have missed it or dismissed it as nothing. But I didn’t. Something inside of me said to take a closer look into this tinsel, to follow this “trail” in spite of my fears, in spite of not having any idea where it might lead. I let the sparkle guide me. The discovery of a hidden, very simple, outdoor chapel almost overwhelmed me back then. I had thought, with the wide open sloping land around The Mandala Center, I could see everything. Obviously, I could not.
Today, I still live and work in the same place I did two years ago. A blaze of wisdom has not yet propelled me forward into a complete transformation. But now I have this lesson of the sparkling tinsel to reflect upon. Courage, curiosity, and responding to a tiny inner voice when something out of place, out of the ordinary, catches my attention seems to be part of the lesson. Maybe a blaze of wisdom is really an accumulation of tiny sparkles.
When I feel lost, lost from myself, I need to remember to let the sparkles guide me back. There is so much more to discover about me. But I have to take a few risks; dare to go some place that intrigues me even though it also scares me a little. Go slowly, notice things, question the unusual, the out of the ordinary. The sparkles lead me to myself. If I know who I am, I am not lost.
Mary Larkin