Feeling our Way
The Path (on Sierra Grande)
There are times in our lives that we find the path ahead is not clearly visible. We may try to make plans or follow the cultural customs but most of us discover a time in life when we realize we are walking with a false security. Something happens in our life to shake us up and awaken us. We may feel that things are not what we thought they were and perhaps we have lost our way. Although it may prove to be a time of great growth – very often we are uncomfortable and perplexed.
Some people deal with this uncertainty by planning out every detail – some respond in fear and resistance – some plow forward with wild abandon – some take slow small steps in hopes of catching a glimpse of a clue or sign to lead them. In all cases, we often discover that there are no road maps, no directions, and no sure footing in this life that can make us safe, reduce our risk, or minimize our challenges. We often must summon a greater strength from within and walk forward simply with faith, a desire to do good, a trust in something greater than ourselves, and the willingness to listen to the small quiet voice within our own heart and soul.
Recently I was speaking to Anna Wolfe, the daughter of Tish Hewitt who made The Mandala Center what it is today. She was talking about riding horses and some of the races she participates in. She spoke about what it was like to be on a horse at night when there were no guiding lights and she knew they were on a treacherous path- both rider and horse tired and weary. She spoke about “feeling” the horse and trusting the horse to lead her and honoring the relationship she had with the horse. She spoke about giving up control (though confident in her own skills) and having courage and a willingness to go on without letting fear take over.
I was imagining that perhaps this is how it is in life and how it is with human relationships, with God; with the Great Mystery. So often our footing seems uncertain, our vision blocked, our sense of self questioned. We must walk in the darkness without fear and “feel” our way with trust and faith that something else or someone else will lovingly accompany us and guide us along the way.
Anna wrote a poem at a time when she felt she needed to follow her inner voice and divine guidance. It was the time when she moved across the country with her family to New Mexico to finish The Mandala Center. She speaks in her own language of faith and offers up her own experience of trusting a greater flow in life even when she could not completely see the path ahead.
Below is the article published in Women’s Perspective on Money and Spirituality – Fall 2003 where she shares her poem.
When Anna Wolfe’s mother died, she left unfinished a project that was dear to her heart – The Mandala Center in New Mexico. Anna finished building the Mandala Center and in essence became her mother’s partner in the creation of this sacred space in the high desert. Her moment of knowing that this is what she was called to do is reflected in her poem, My Answer…
MY ANSWER
Lord, I hear you calling,
Calling me far, far, away.
It is a whisper
That blows through my soul,
And stirs me
To say yes.
Oh, the adventure
You are calling me to.
To the place in the wilderness
Where
You will speak tenderly
To my heart,
And give me my vineyards.
You ask so little of me
Other than
To keep saying yes,
To keep listening to your voice
And placing the next foot
Forward
Like on the labyrinth.
I realize that all I have
Comes from you,
And so is really yours
For us to use together
To do your work.
And so I hold what I have
Loosely
And I listen.
You have also opened me
To your gift of love,
Now showing me
The glorious face of your Son
In each person I meet,
And so I know
We are all one.
Now, after years of
Loving preparation
You have led me
To the very brink
And it is time
For action.
It is time to take
The leap of faith,
As Abraham did
So many years ago.
To arch and leap
As from an aeroplane,
With joyful abandon.
And I must trust.
Trust that your loving arms
Will catch me,
As surely as
The parachute,
And I will be
In the place to which
You are calling me.
So, Lord,
I am surprised and honored
To realize
You have a plan for me.
And I step forward,
Over the edge,
With confidence
And trepidation
To the place we call Mandala.
The confidence
Is God-given,
The trepidation, human.
Yet I am grateful
That I may hear your call
And respond,
For it is the ultimate way
That I may return your love.
By saying yes.
Anna Wolfe, June 1997
(Lori Coon Executive Director)